Dating_Mentor's blog

The Corona virus has quickly swept across the globe, infecting millions of people in hundreds of different countries. And even if you don’t have the virus, it is very likely that your life is being affected by it; most governments are warning people to self-isolate and stay inside, even if they aren’t showing symptoms. But what does this mean for dating?

The virus can be passed by holding hands and kissing, and many date locations are temporarily closed. So dating may be a little harder than normal – but if you really like someone, it is possible to date them while staying safe and healthy. Here are our top do’s and don’ts for dating during the Corona health crisis.

Do use our dating site to match with other health conscious singles. This allows you to create a solid bond with someone like-minded, and you definitely won’t catch the virus this way!

Do sign-up for our Singles Mingle events, which are low-pressure virtual Speed Dating events.

Do meet in person if you have already met before and neither of you are presenting symptoms.

Do meet up at a quiet location (such as your home or the park), rather than a busy café or bar.

Do wash your hands frequently if you decide to meet up in person.

Do an elbow bump when you meet up, instead of shaking hands or kissing!

Do wear a mask.

Don’t spend the whole date talking about the COVID-19 virus. It is the main subject of conversation for most people right now, so a break will probably be welcomed.

Don’t feel bad if you want to cancel a date. Just let the person know as soon as you decide you don’t want to, and consider rearranging when you feel safer being in a crowd.

Don’t stay at a venue if you notice people coughing.

Don’t quiz your date about when they last coughed, especially if they seem perfectly healthy.

Don’t lean in for a kiss at the end of the night if you are meeting the person for the first time – stick to a wink and smile!

To encourage safe social distancing, please post a picture of yourself rocking any decorative face masks you may made or bought. 

So, you're over 50 and new to internet dating. Right now, you may be divided in having this online dating profile. It might even be uncomfortable for you. You may have came out of a very long-term relationship or marriage. In the intervening time the world had changed from romance classifieds ads, and mailing a stamp licked letter to your crush. Internet dating has become very popular and every single person I know has or is using it.  Recently, A work colleague of mine met his wife and had a family with a woman he met online. Could you be missing something by not trying it all? There is only one way to find out!  Here are some tips & suggestions for those over 50 and new to Internet Dating.

1-Read the profile of your date very carefully. You won’t look particularly clever if you meet in person and overlook a major part of their profile For example, they have a pre-schooler and you don't want kids, or a pet cat and you're allergic to cats.

2-When you make contact with someone for the first time, be careful of appearing too keen. A short message that says “Hi, I liked the look of your profile. Would love it if you took a look at mine,” is ideal. It’s an instant turn-off to be flooded with too much information straight away.

3-Learn the language. Internet dating comes with its own set of acronyms that can seem bizarre to the uninitiated. LTR, for instance means Long Term Relationship, WLTM means Would Like to Meet. Always check what an acronym means if you are unsure. You can even post your questions in the Forum.

4-Just like an ancient proverb-Action speaks louder than words. For your own peace of mind, not to mention safety, you should spend a while communicating online before progressing to phone calls or meeting in person. However there needs to be balance. If, after two months, and you’re still having online chats, ask yourself whether this relationship will ever progress. Just keep it moving.

5-Internet dating is not for lames. This is one of the greatest, albeit bluntest, piece of advice I can give you. If you are older, you may have never done anything like this before. Internet dating may seem a bit odd at first but it is normal these days. I, for one, know lots of people who are married or settled down with partners they met this way.

6-Remember it is called "Online Dating". You no longer have a local shot at meeting someone, but worldwide access to many types of people. If interracial dating was taboo in the days of your prime, now is the time to date who you want. You may be blessed and meet your lifelong partner. But also, don't take a rejection to heart. Continue with this and see what happens. There's nothing wrong with keeping your profile up for a while. Your new sweetheart may break up with their significant other, and find you a year after you created your profile. Don't miss opportunities because of pride.

7-If you decide to meet someone, make the first meeting brief. Maybe coffee, a drink, something you can get away easily if you can tell things really aren’t going to work out.

8-Use recent photographs on your profile. Some people innocently use old, youthful pictures because it’s all they have or shows them at their best. Just remember you are representing yourself in the now, and it isn’t fair to use an image of yourself from The Passion Tour in 1997 if you’re actually 46 years of age. If you're having issues with uploading your picture, contact us and we will help you with it.

9-Spend time looking at other profile pictures before you finish your own. See what you might like to try, and what really works. You can gauge that by browsing pictures and looking at who has the most star ratings and the most comments. It’s worth the time and effort to create something really good. Photography is an art. You’re already great, so let the world know you are.

10-Finally and most importantly; do not share personal contact information such as your home address on your profile. Always meet in a public place. Follow exactly the same rules you would if meeting someone on a blind date set up by friends.

I'm going to add one final point. Above everything else, have fun! That’s what glorious dating should be. With patience, You may find your Isaac/Rebecca. I wish you much success and hope you do. More than anything, enjoy yourself and meet some great, new people and friends.

Are you growing tired of the dinner date routine? Make your dating life more exciting by trying a more adventurous date. These dates are original and a lot of fun – and they guarantee a memorable night! If you want to spice up your dating life, try one of our four adventurous date ideas below.

An amusement park makes for a great first date, and it is perfect for thrill seekers. If you live near Los Angeles or Atlanta, try Six Flags. Try Carowinds in the Carolinas if you're local to that. Check out amusement parks near you and visit the one with the most G-forces! This is a great way to get close to your date, and you can grab a snack afterwards and talk about your favorite rides.

White water rafting is a fun way to work out while having a great time in nature. Your date will love the scenic location, and you don’t need to be an expert – there are different options available for different levels, and you can choose the one that works best for you and yours. You can also try canoeing or kayaking! Kayaking is my personal favorite!

If you want to do something a little less intense, try a hot air balloon. It is just as memorable, but you can sit down and talk while you experience the beautiful scenery. If you live near the Orlando/Tampa area in Florida, check out simple Hot Air Balloon rides at Disney Springs.

If your date enjoys being outdoorsy, consider asking them to join you on a hiking date. It is a good way to get some exercise and you can bring a picnic with you. Consider a hiking date during summer and spring, so that you can enjoy the views without getting too cold.

That should get you adrenaline junkies off to a great start!!

Lots of people identify as introverted, or shy, and some socially awkward; but they still have happy, loving relationships. While dating may initially seem daunting, introverts often thrive on the dating scene.

Every personality type has pros and cons – it is what you do with the traits that really matters. If you are an introvert-like me, check out our advice below.

1-Visit places that make you feel good

Introverts often dislike large groups, overcrowded venues and too much noise, which can make them feel nervous and uneasy. Make sure that you actually enjoy your evening out by going somewhere that you know you like. The familiar venue will help you to relax and enjoy yourself.

2-Start a social hobby

If you are struggling to find a date at church or from friends, change your angle. Consider joining a club like painting or cooking where you can meet other people with similar interests. As you are not actively looking for love there, it takes the pressure off and makes it easier for introverted people to thrive.

3-Talk to strangers when you can

Small talk can be a real problem for introverts – especially with a stranger. Become a more confident communicator by making the effort to talk to strangers when you are out and about. You could try starting a conversation at the Metro with someone else who is waiting, or you could talk to the barista while he makes your coffee. There are plenty of people who are willing to chat!

4-Don’t assume that dating is easier for other people

You may see a beautiful person and think that dating is easy and fun for them. The truth is, you never know what someone else is going through – they may be going through a tough breakup, or they may have body confidence problems. When you realize that everyone is on the same page, dating becomes less scary and more fun.

5-Keep the conversation going

If you know how to, it is easy to keep a conversation going once it has started. Speak loudly and clearly so that the other person can hear you well, and make regular eye-contact and SMILE. This shows the other person that you are interested and focused, so they will continue to talk and ask YOU questions.

You can also ask open-ended questions, to keep the conversation flowing naturally without getting stuck on a “yes” or “no.”

6-Don’t let extroverts overwhelm you

Introverted people are often happy to be quiet when they are spending time with loud people – these can be pretty intense moments! However, keeping quiet often means you will go unnoticed.

Try to say something whenever you think of something relevant or interesting – don’t keep it inside your head, let your personality show!

Dating shouldn’t be a tired, old routine; it should be filled with new and fun experiences! There are lots of amazing, romantic first date ideas that will surprise your date and make them eager to see you again – and none of them involve dinner in the evening.

It is no secret that dogs are great companions. They are always overjoyed to see you, and their never-ending love feels great. But what about their owners? The team at IsaacMeetsRebecca think that dog owners are just as awesome as their pets. Dog owners have lots of great traits like patience, and they know how to shower their loved ones with affection. Here are 9 reasons why you should date someone with a dog.

1. They are easy going

When you have a puppy, you have to be prepared for the unexpected. Dog owners are used to finding chewed up shoes and furniture – and the occasional puddle. They don’t let little problems stress them out; instead they calmly solve the problem and move on.

1. They are friendly

Studies have found that dog owners are normally more extroverted than people without pets. They are used to chatting to other dog walkers – in fact, they even love a quick chat with their pooch. This friendly attitude is present in all areas of their lives, and they are chatty and loving in their relationships.

1. They are forgiving

Remember the first point? Dogs can often make mistakes, and dog owners don’t judge them harshly for their mistakes. Often they realize that they are at fault too – maybe the dog only went to the toilet inside because they didn’t let them out.  They know that blaming someone for something is a waste of time, and instead they choose to forgive and move on.

1. They are patient

Training a puppy is a difficult, time-consuming task – but the rewards are amazing. Dog owners understand that good things come from patience, and that being impatient doesn’t help anyone.

1. They are great at cuddling

If you enjoy affection and a cuddle in your relationship, a dog owner is the perfect match for you. Dogs love nothing more than to lick their owner’s face, so they are used to their pup invading their personal space. They will love to share a cuddle with you – and no doubt they will appreciate the fact that you don’t have dog breath. Phew!

1. They are active

Dogs need walking every day, so you can safely assume that a dog owner isn’t afraid of the outdoors. Dog owners love to go on hikes and walks, and they are always happy to include other people in their adventures.

1. They are happier than average

Studies have found that dog owners are generally less stressed than people without a pet. They also tend to be healthier and have higher self-esteem – need we say more?

1. They are responsible

A dog is a pet that requires a lot of work. They need walking and feeding daily, and they often have high costs compared to other pets. Dog owners are willing to do this, showing responsibility and commitment – two of the most important traits to have in a relationship.

1. You get a dog (kind of)

Who doesn’t want a dog to play with and cuddle? If you date a dog owner, you spend as much time as you want with their fluffy friend. Winner indeed!

Online dating is different to dating communication in real life. People tend to be more confident online, so they are more likely to send out multiple messages – but as people are doing this, it might mean that yours may get ignored!  Don't worry! Thankfully, there are lots of ways to make sure that people want to read your messages – you just need to know how to stand out. Here are some ways to increase your chances of finding online love.

Most people hate writing about themselves, but if you want your profile to stand out among the rest you will definitely need to write a bio! Thankfully you can use research to make your profile more interesting; a recent survey found that profiles that are between 200 words and 250 words long receive around 50% more messages than people with longer or shorter profiles, so aim for this length.

Some people can be pretty stingy with their pictures, choosing to upload only one or two, but this can result in fewer messages. In fact, a recent study found that people are 8-10% more likely to receive a message for every extra picture that they upload, so try to include as many pictures as you can on your profile!

If you send your message at the wrong time you are more likely to get ignored; an eHarmony survey found that people are least likely to get a response if they send a message between 8.30pm and 10.30pm, so try and send your messages earlier in the day.
 

It is easier to send a short message or a wink than it is to send a well thought out message, but people are much more likely to ignore short messages. For this reason you should take the time to read the other person’s dating profile, and then you can create a personalized message that is more likely to pique their interest and garner a response.

Online dating doesn’t have to be difficult. You just need to be aware of the difference between online dating and “real life” dating, as the rules are a little different. If you do the same old things, you'll get the same results. With online dating you have to try some new things, and meet people outside your social circle. Thankfully, it is pretty easy to pick up some advantages in online dating – especially if you use the information in our blogs!

Communication is still part of modern dating, so it is important to make sure that you are clued up on all of the messaging do’s and don’ts. Most people today have experienced their fair share of texting… but most people have also experienced frustrating, or slow  conversations that last for days and end up going nowhere. If this keeps happening to you, it could be because you are making a classic mistake without realizing. Here are four popular communication mistakes that you should avoid making if you are messaging someone you like.

The needy person is the person who continues to message someone when their previous messages were ignored. It can be frustrating to feel like someone has dropped off the face of the earth, but their silence speaks volumes – and you repeatedly messaging them is unlikely to change their mind as it makes you seem a little needy or somewhat desperate.

Another common communication mistake is constantly sending boring messages like “sup” or “How are you doing?” This is a quick and easy way to get a conversation going, but if you continue to send repeatedly boring messages eventually the other person will stop replying. For this reason you should take the time to send a more personal message that is funny or interesting.

If you like someone it can be tempting to brag a little, but showing off too much is an easy way to guarantee that you don’t get a message back. It is hard to convey non-verbal tone over text, so humble bragging or jokey bragging can come across much more seriously, and this can make you look big headed or narcissistic.

Most people have heard about the three day rule where you wait three days to contact someone, but this rule is out-dated and it should definitely be avoided. Everyone has busy lives, but it doesn’t take days to take a few seconds to send a quick message, so if you wait the other person may assume that you are not interested in them and move on. If you like someone, message them as soon as you want – but once you’ve sent the message, wait for them to reply before you message them again!

Dating in your 30s can be fairly different to dating in your 20s – especially if you have just got out of a long-term relationship! Sometimes it can seem like dating is harder in your 30s because there are less single people, and people are more likely to have emotional baggage. However there are actually lots of advantages to dating in your 30s; people tend to be more sure about what they want, and more people are looking for a genuine, serious relationship. Here are six tips for people who are dating in their 30s.

The divorce rate in most countries is normally between 20% and 50%, so if you are dating in your 30s it is likely that a significant chunk of the available singles will be divorced. So if you refuse to date people who are divorced, your dating pool will be a lot smaller! If you’re struggling to get over a divorce bias, remember that lots of people come with relationship baggage, and this includes people who have never been married.

The good thing about dating in your 30s is that you have relationship experience, which means that you should be more aware of what you want. If you’re not sure what you’re looking for in a relationship, sit down and list things that matter to you; do you want to find someone who will bring you out of your shell and challenge you, or do you want to find someone who wants to travel the world? This will make it easier for you to find someone who you have a genuine connection with.

If you have been in an unhappy relationship in the past, you may be tempted to put your guard up – but in reality this will just make it harder for you to find someone. Sure, you are less likely to get hurt, but if you want to find a real, meaningful relationship you need to be willing to let your guard down.

Don’t let negative thinking about your past relationships make you bitter or jaded. The past is in the past, and if you constantly bring it up it will affect the present and the future. So while it may be difficult, it is important to let the past go so that you can focus on your current life.

5. Update Your Wardrobe

Now that you're no longer in your 20s, you should reflect that in what you wear. Say goodbye to tummy tight tank tops, mini skirts, sky high heels, super tight jeans, cut out clothes, etc etc. Say hello to button downs, boot cut jeans, ballerina flats, and blazers, etc.

If you want to be in a serious relationship, don’t waste time with people who play games or string you along. Some people can mess people around for months or even years, so it is important to leave if you suspect that your crush isn’t really into you. It also means that you are more likely to notice if the right person enters your life, as you won’t be focused on the wrong person!

Yep, it’s that time of year.  I’ve finished my last handful of candy corn, and started looking for my winter coat.  Checking the calendar…here comes the trifecta of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve. The season where singleness is felt more deeply than any other time of the year.

Yippee.  Right?

If you are single, whether by choice or not, it can be a tender time.  For some of us, we want to hibernate, with a ton of snacks and hang a sign that reads, “See ya in the Spring.”   Others, go through the motions and “doing our duty” showing up at all the family/friend functions with our smiles anchored on our faces.  Meanwhile our hearts ache with longing and loneliness.

As a first-time bride at 45, I went through many, many …. Um, way too many of these seasons putting my game face on but in reality, my heart yearned to feel loved, to feel chosen, to feel valued.  Singleness at the holidays can be tricky business. The very worse thing any single can do at this time of year is to deny those feelings of loneliness and longing. If you have them, own them.  But let’s make this year the year they don’t own us.

Is it possible for a single to be thankful, truly thankful during the Thanksgiving season?  I’m here to tell you the answer is, “Yes.”  

The key to unlock the door of contentment and even joy at Thanksgiving is a two-part solution.  I’m going to recommend two things to do during this season and you’ll find them right in Thanksgiving.

Confused?

*Thanks*  start a “thankful for” journal.  Grab a $1.00 notebook from Walmart or spend a little and get a beautiful journal.  Begin with writing down people, places, things, experiences you are thankful for in your life.  THIS WORKS.   You’ll begin to move the focus from what you don’t have onto what you do have.  You may not think so, but you have a beautiful life.  Journal it.

*Giving*  Find ways to give to others.  Whether that’s paying for someone’s coffee at Starbucks, feeding the homeless at a center, stopping in at the widow’s house down the street with coffee cake, or writing to our military.  There are so many ways for you to give to others, by your time, talent or treasure.  It’s amazing what will happen when you do this!

That spells Thanksgiving. Gobble, Gobble, Daters.

Written by an Anonymous Volunteer.